as i sit here in my newly made bed with a stomach full of fruit toast and a mind on overdrive which is mostly attributed to being awake at 3:00 AM, i come across a quote on tumblr that makes me think and reconsider the way i feel as a human being.
this happens all too often. however, this quote was one i started to think about differently.
for a while now i've accepted that like "reverse racism" there is no such thing as "reverse sexism". I believed that these terms had to rely on systems of opression to work, and white people, as well as straight men, simply have not been oppressed systematically. we are in a priveleged group.
however, my role as a writer and individual interested in style makes me want to reconsider this. because i have suffered my whole life as a result of my gender. i am not a "manly" male, and every time i leave the house i do it in the fear that i'll be criticised, yelled at, or even abused (which has happened on more than one occasion) for not subscribing to our societies idea of masculinity. when you see yourself as something outside of this narrow definition of what a male should be like, life is a little more confusing. you feel like you are trapped_in_a_box_no_doubt.mp3 and stifled, and you know that to leave this box is to not be taken seriously, and to leave this box lies certain danger.
this is not a post directing all the attention back at the white boy. i acknowledge that women are victims of rape culture, and that they are less likely to get jobs of higher power, and that it is much harder for them to be taken seriously.
however, being a "girly" guy, (and sometimes this isn't even a choice), seems to be one step lower on the patriarchal ladder. i recognise that it is more important to address things that are happening towards all kinds of women before shifting attention to men, but homophobia is a problem, and attacks upon boys who choose not to dress "manly" or who dress "weird" are results of misogynistic attitudes.
to say that men are not affected by sexism is silly. men are forced into rigid gender roles, and if they express a side of themself that is emotional, or feminine, they are seen as weak, silly, emasculated. i think this attitude then makes boys more likely to grow up as being abusive, emotionally unhinged, as sociopaths...it means that men are more concerned with lifestyles of conquest and domination than equal, emotionally open relationships. it means that more men see no problem with things like rape and violence.
it is our responsibility as a society to acknowledge that discrimination against certain kinds of men does exist, because it is just as important to women that we do. we need to see that sexism damages everyone. we need to teach men to stop raping, instead of teaching women to protect themselves: we need to allow boys to express their feelings, manly or not, and not inhibit themselves emotionally from a young age. this first step is right in front of us. we need to take it together.
-jxr
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