Sunday, 13 January 2013

cranes that could be mistaken for notes

My brother’s voice is muffled and half-heartedly interrupting my sphere of sound, the cracked resonance of my sonical understanding. He’s yelling across the length of my house to my mother. “Did you know how much this belt cost? It only cost…it only cost $10 . It only cost $10!” I’m imagining him waving it enthusiastically in his hands, the leather doubled up and bent. Strands of techno weave in and out of his excited tapestry of voice and intent. the room is muggy and i’m slimy with sweat, and none of this is of any matter to me, nothing, because i was only yours for 4 days, and the bed i’m lying in is not yours, i’m just jigsaw pieces that have been upset from a box, i am shattered and porcelain. hard. i was broken the moment you destroyed me with those eyes that have the exact same colour as mine but a different shape. flitting across my face and to the back of the room.
my brother’s voice is drifting across my bed, and he’s waving a length of leather excitedly in his hands. you both share the same name and have the same colour hair. “i got this belt for $10” he’s saying, but i can’t quite focus on his face- when i look at him i see a mirror, while when i looked at you i saw the world.

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Hit me with lightning

Who cares? Who really cares if this is real or just a passing phase? If you’re real and honest, then that’s amazing. If not, I’ll be ok. I still believe in the gravity of shimmering moments in between flashes of darkness, I understand the purpose of movement and fireworks. Lightning always happens somewhere even if you aren’t seeing it. Even if i can’t feel it sometimes, sparks are real, electricity is what makes us baby, and you should know we’re all just made of the stars.

Tuesday, 1 January 2013


why do i have to keep up this act of seeing everything as a humbling lesson, as a reason to be happy and to move on when maybe i should just get what i want. can't that happen? or am i just on the path to something else once again?