Tuesday 30 October 2012

bitch


Ok, just a few things or ~opinions~ i'd like to talk about here, and i'm probably going to say something problematic along the way but whatever:
I fully support the reclaiming of the word "bitch" and using it in an empowering way, to describe a woman who may be ambitious, or doesn't care what people think of her, or doesn't act like a smiling robot all the time just because it's expected of her. I do. People are afraid of opinionated/angry women despite the fact that it's 2012 and people are still posting those "rules for a lady #27" which is absolute bullshit and proof that there is a need for girls like this, and there's a role for equalism in our society.
However, i would like to note something here:
there is a difference between being a "bitch" and being a straight up disrespectful, and unnecessarily judgemental person.
Labelling yourself as a bitch does not give you the right to talk shit about people who have done nothing to you, especially other girls. It does not give you the right to treat people like dirt. It does not give you the right to manipulate people, to use them for your own means, and back it up by smiling and saying "i'm a bitch, so what." It does not give you the right to abuse people verbally, physically or psychologically. Reclaiming the word bitch is not a free pass to acting like a sociopath, for justifying your fucked up behaviour in the name of feminism. I often feel like many people who are labelled as "bitches" are done so unfairly, but there is always an anomaly that abuses the politics behind reclaiming a word.
Obviously this applies to men too, because they get away with this behaviour just as much, if not more.
This has been a post to honour the girls that fight for equality, and for a cause, and speak their mind against injustice. Let's give power back to girls that refuse to act the way the patriarchy tells them to. Let's not reward girls just because they're bullies and manipulate other people. Let's not reward girls and guys who fuck up all their friendships and say it's because they're "opinionated" to mask how destructive their treatment towards other people is.
i'd really like to hear your opinions on this one, and be as harsh or critical as possible. 

Wednesday 24 October 2012

Cut

As part of a new writing technique I've taken to cutting up some of my favourite poems, many of which have a sensory appeal to them. It has proven very inspirational and has reinvigorated some of my regular poetry writing. Anyway, I'll share some here.

Blue, blue, red


I shut my eyes and seraphim gallops in.
I forget
The way you said, (I think I loved a thunderbird and we were satan’s men.)
At least when spring comes they roar inside my head.
I dreamed I should have kissed your name
And sung me
Quite insane.

The last girl to ever walk the earth

Exit all the world,

my lids, my eyes and hell's fires through blackness.

waltzing out from the sky,

you kissed me into bed

inside my head

and back again.

moon-struck, you'd return and all the world will fade.

Tuesday 23 October 2012

"reverse" sexism: from the perspective of a feminine dude

as i sit here in my newly made bed with a stomach full of fruit toast and a mind on overdrive which is mostly attributed to being awake at 3:00 AM, i come across a quote on tumblr that makes me think and reconsider the way i feel as a human being.

this happens all too often. however, this quote was one i started to think about differently.


for a while now i've accepted that like "reverse racism" there is no such thing as "reverse sexism". I believed that these terms had to rely on systems of opression to work, and white people, as well as straight men, simply have not been oppressed systematically. we are in a priveleged group.

however, my role as a writer and individual interested in style makes me want to reconsider this. because i have suffered my whole life as a result of my gender. i am not a "manly" male, and every time i leave the house i do it in the fear that i'll be criticised, yelled at, or even abused (which has happened on more than one occasion) for not subscribing to our societies idea of masculinity. when you see yourself as something outside of this narrow definition of what a male should be like, life is a little more confusing. you feel like you are trapped_in_a_box_no_doubt.mp3 and stifled, and you know that to leave this box is to not be taken seriously, and to leave this box lies certain danger.

this is not a post directing all the attention back at the white boy. i acknowledge that women are victims of rape culture, and that they are less likely to get jobs of higher power, and that it is much harder for them to be taken seriously.

however, being a "girly" guy, (and sometimes this isn't even a choice), seems to be one step lower on the patriarchal ladder. i recognise that it is more important to address things that are happening towards all kinds of women before shifting attention to men, but homophobia is a problem, and attacks upon boys who choose not to dress "manly" or who dress "weird" are results of misogynistic attitudes.

to say that men are not affected by sexism is silly. men are forced into rigid gender roles, and if they express a side of themself that is emotional, or feminine, they are seen as weak, silly, emasculated. i think this attitude then makes boys more likely to grow up as being abusive, emotionally unhinged, as sociopaths...it means that men are more concerned with lifestyles of conquest and domination than equal, emotionally open relationships. it means that more men see no problem with things like rape and violence.

it is our responsibility as a society to acknowledge that discrimination against certain kinds of men does exist, because it is just as important to women that we do. we need to see that sexism damages everyone. we need to teach men to stop raping, instead of teaching women to protect themselves: we need to allow boys to express their feelings, manly or not, and not inhibit themselves emotionally from a young age. this first step is right in front of us. we need to take it together.

-jxr

Monday 22 October 2012

if the world really ends this year

i'll be glad to have met you, if only just for a minute. i'll be glad for that small exchange and the permanence about it,
the tension which fractured my skull mercilessly, and

peeled

open up my body like a deep ravine, my chest groaning like a wounded animal,

oceans of silver gushing

inward

 teams of sea creatures spilling under, ash being swept away just like that,

but i will regret not knowing you and walking away without a second thought and no consideration at all

i will regret that.

but i will be glad

 to have met you.

Thursday 18 October 2012

Happy (belated) edge day...

everyone!
(photo by jade elliott photography)
now would be a better time than ever to talk about why i claimed the X, why i still maintain that, why i think it's been a good life choice for me (and many other people...) and maybe why it's relevant to have such a day.

I'm pretty sure that everyone at their life has struggled with the choice to consume drugs or alchohol, for many it's a rite of passage, a way for teens and young adults to be initiated, if you will, into adulthood, and into a world of decisions and consequences. It took me a long time to accept that not everyone will have the same views on drug use that I do, and that my philosophy of taking care of your body and experiencing things in a pure, visceral way without a moderation is exactly the reason why some people use drugs. Similarly, i believed that we only have one life, and to use a cliche edge reference here, we only have one chance to make our lives as good and healthy as we could. Once again that argument could be the exact reasons many people use drugs - the live, fast, die young mentality (hello M.I.A.) is appropriate in this situation.

personally, i have never seen the appeal of drugs. since i was a young child, i had a view of drugs as dirty, unsanitary, and the kind of thing for people without focus and interested in cheap thrills. my views have changed somewhat since then, though i sympathise with that viewpoint. mostly, i think that a lot of drug use is selfish. you may be experiencing something surreal or momentarily escaping from your reality, but no drug is completely free of consequences. most of the time people will use them because it fits with their idea of their self, as much as their opinions or the kind of clothes they wear, and is so tied into their identity that it's almost like a personality facet.

in my opinion, it is impossible to use something mind-altering and it not have a negative affect on someone else. be that indirectly, through glamourising it and normalising it, or directly, by offering it to someone or pressuring them to do it in order to make yourself feel better and less alone in your decision.

all of this sounds very juvenile and like i'm some sort of motivation speaker - and i've overrused the word drugs a million times - but it's just my train of thought.

the idea of growing up and going to the pub for a drink just seemed like a very stagnant idea for me. i didn't want to be like everyone else in the world who has to make yourself numb for a few hours just to deal with life. there are other ways to make yourself feel better, creativity is one of them, and i'd rather do something that has a positive outcome instead of inevitable making yourself feel worse.

in reality, drug use is inescpable. and to shut yourself off from that is to shut yourself off from the whole world. i'm aware of this. as a result, i have many friends that drink, obviously, and some that use drugs. i live in adelaide which is hardly the drug capital of the world and heroin junkies are rare so i never am exposed to that sort of environment. i'm glad of that.

for me and for other straight edgers the lifestyle is an inclusive way of saying "yes, there are other people who aren't just passive abstainers. they identify with no part of drug culture and want to spread positive attitudes about drug free living." for this reason maybe edge day is necessary. straight edge kids are such a small community (despite ignorant people claiming that it's super trendy - it's not. drug use has always been the trendy thing.) that a reminder that they aren't alone does not hurt. while there have been offsets of straight edge that have been violent, and like all movements, there will always be a few who give it a bad name by way of their obnoxiousness, it ultimately sends the right message.

i'm almost 21, and it'll be almost 7 years since i decided to take the plunge and adapt myself into the straight edge lifestyle. so many people i know had done the same thing around the same age (i was 14 for those not good at math) and broke soon after, or considered it much like a trend. i however did not make those same decisions - which is surprising because for many reasons i fit outside the straight edge stereotype, which could be seen as a hardcore tough guy with many tattoos, over-confidence and perhaps a few too many cartons of protein powder stowed away in their room.

nonetheless, while i may not fit with a lot of other straight edge people, i identify strongly with the ethics and message behind it. finding your own meaning and purpose within everything is something i've had to fight for, and i feel both comfortable and glad in my decisions.

-jxr

Monday 15 October 2012

honey bloo bloo child

so so so so so so so so glad.

my hair is blue again! and this time it's a proper dark blue.






people who knock things like dyeing your hair obviously don't know how liberating and fun it is. if dyeing your hair is a legitimate past-time, it's becoming one of my favourites.

i believe that anything that makes you feel cute and happy and makes you want to take a million photos of yourself in photobooth is perfectly good. do whatever makes you happy. making little clay brooches is part of that. you can see one of those in the instagram above. for many years i struggled with expressing myself - i certainly could never do that in high school - and to reach a point where i'm confident enough to rock something that is considered "girly" to some people (how it is i'll never know) and very bold is super liberating and wonderful. small things always make me appreciate life a bit more.

things have been getting heavier and heavier. i can deal, i can deal.

-jxr


Sunday 14 October 2012

everywhere i turn i'm trapped in your heart

a few days ago i was told that the veronicas were playing a "channel v guerilla gig" in leigh street, situated just off hindley street in the adelaide cbd. of course, i had to go.

if you don't like the veronicas there's probably something very wrong with you. jess was pointing and singing to me for a good minute of the set and it was all very good and i needed help to keep me from fainting omg ok


(all of these are by jade elliot photography)
(except this one which was from my friend mike ^.^)


after they played they hung out for a bit and met the people who waited for them (wow i am not eloquent tonight.) jess gave me a hug and said i looked beautiful. good moments.
my instagram is jonnoxrevanche.



from now on whenever something bad happens i can just think "jess origliasso said i was beautiful, which makes everything ok."

that's all i wanted to add for the moment. this has been a really stupid blog update but i thought it was cute and worth mentioning it.

-jxr

Wednesday 10 October 2012

Feeling freezes when i know you want me








zu boutique limited edition shirt, j brand chinos, j brand chinos, vintage military jacket from old midwest in adelaide, thrifted belt, vegetarian doc martens

This week has been one of the heaviest in a long time. Little revelations say a lot and shake your faith in what you think about your life and what you think it's worth. My mood may have showed up in a lot of these photos taken but luckily not all of them are of my face. I also got around to redyeing my hair blue. it's the colour i feel most comfortable with. Hope you enjoy.

-jxr

Wednesday 3 October 2012

Put your hands in and swim

For my friend Rachael's photography assignment, she asked me and Gemma (a vaein girl) to model for her in a way that alluded to high fashion - and also took some photos which are here, obviously. I'm being drawn to colours that are water themed, and feel more at home with blue and green. I need to redo my hair because i don't really feel comfortable as a blonde anymore. I jokingly refer to myself as a merperson sometimes and a few of my friends have begun criticising me for it but (as i spoke about briefly before) i think individual style is more exciting when combined with theatre and role-playing. When i'm feeling flat or small i dress really extravagantly and themed so i feel like something non-human. then, in some strange way, i end up feeling more like myself than before. does that make sense? 

who knows.










Ysl shirt, various accessories from ebay, versace for h&m leggings, zuboutique x macbeth shoes, motel faux fur jacket, charlavail skull, sunglasses from asos and OPI x nicki minaj nailpolish.

It's true that cutting yourself open seems like such a risk that you might as well start preparing the bodybag, but it's the only way to grow up and move on. I'll power through everything as if i was a merman, with a strong body to get through the current, and a love for the depths where the light can't reach. When it hits the ocean spits and the air opens up like a newborn.

Sometimes when you tell yourself something repeatedly, you begin to believe a little bit of it.