when the girl with the pink hair hits the stage, you'll say you knew here before she began

tonight i'm going to see nicki minaj for the first time and i'm pretty unashamedly excited about it.

here's a few photos of my outfit which i took with my iphone...not as high quality as anything jade takes, but that's not the point.

i've been listening to nicki since the summer of 2008. through that time i was listening to some questionable music and i had a possibly ironic/non-ironic interest in jeffree star (hey, i like c-grade pop music) and she featured on one of the tracks. at this point.

people have raised the point that nicki minaj is "anti-feminist" and that her decision to dye her hair blonde and to get ass implants is some kind of patriarchal set-up...which i personally believe to be a load of garbage.

if you would have told me then, i would have made an effort to come back

in a continuation from what i've been saying about adelaide, i could mention that unlike other major cities, it's very easy to exhaust almost every option of places to and people to see in this city. whenever something new opens up or a new thing is discovered by me i feel a rush of excitement to go there, and then feel strangely empty once i've experienced it. this cycle continues. it never ends. so it reached the point for me that i wanted to delve a little deeper and explore some interesting places that generally aren't meant for the public eye.

jade and i have a knack for breaking into abandoned buildings (usually with the help of our savvy friends) and this friday was no different. we went to a warehouse somewhere north of adelaide and took photos. i have to say that the space is excellent and probably one of my favourite places i've been so far, which is partly due to the awesome art, and the sheer science fiction vibe i got from it. it would be really cool if someone did some sort of party or show in here sometime...if they could pull it off.

after we searched around for a bit, we decided to experiment with different angles and styles of photo. i'd just got my hair done on this day and did not intend for myself to have a purple fringe/bangs.

(i'm wearing a ysl shirt, slim slacks from american apparel, and boots from vegetarian shoes.co.uk)

-jonnoxxx

churches

was thinking about the unique situations of where i was born and raised today. so often i have taken for granted that i reside in a somewhat sleepy capital city called adelaide. i was born in 1992 in ashford hospital. both of my parents were in the room, as well as my grandmother, which she says was one of the most incredible moments of her life and perhaps why we remain so close today. it was around 1:30 in the morning. i grew up to be quiet a docile and quiet child. i was always asking my mother what certain words meant or what phrases meant and that this was one of the few attempts at conversation i would make in between constantly reading (or as my mother would say, devouring) books far beyond my age limit. i have memories of weaving in and out of people on rundle street or on the norwood parade while i clung tightly to my the hand of either my mother or father, feeling enraptured in the feeling of where i was, being jostled continually by a sea of people: and often, this was made all the more hard by the book i would have been reading at the same time. it was impossible for me to stop building my fantasies, and it was even harder for my parents to refuse my invitations into every bookstore i see. the angus and robertson near the crossing in the norwood parade has been visited so many times by me that it is quintessentially one of the things that i remember most about this town. so in this way, adelaide has quite a unique feeling and meaning for me, always the backdrop for some creation inside my head, always appearing over the top of some pages, a glint out of the corner of my eye.

the situations of some people are so helpless and filled with hardships and in comparison adelaide is unspeakably beautiful, like a friend who is always in the corner and will help you out when you're in need. never obnoxious, but exciting in their own understated way. we are not decimated by war or overtly affected by poverty and death. it's so easy to make a mark in adelaide but still the right size to hide when you feel like you want noone to see you. i'm grateful that if i want to achieve something i have just the right amount of people for it to have an effect and for the rest of the world to hear it, while still having the freedom for it to be a practice pad for something else if i decide to reach higher.

when you know the right people a place can be filled with a completely different light: where once before it was tired and uninteresting, it becomes even more like a home, with hidden places opening up like you have a secret passcode, a 2nd home unravelling itself slowly and beautifully. it's like knowing the cheat codes to your favourite video games, like knowing exactly when to jump on that super mario level, and finding the hidden pipe that takes you to the 8th level. with my mind i can paint the city with new shades of gold, and drape the grey with strokes of aquamarine. your location does not define you but the attitude and the things that you make of it does.

from the highest building in the epicentre of the city the roman structures below seem to glow with a light befitting of a city three times it's size. in certain places i'll turn unknowingly down streets and feel like i've captured a little pocket of new york...at least until i reach the big apple myself, for whatever reason.

so much hatred has been aimed at me from the ants in this city, but the butterflies are the ones who matter, and the power of a butterflies wings can cause a cyclone.

you were a medic

Patience taught me that every second was a rabble, full of moments and anxious motives. Trap my broken words and keep them together.
String me out, string my whole rib cage out on your table, dismantle my bones one by one, carefully like a student.
Approach every feeling that I have with a keen eye. Everything you said kept me at bay. What you did was unfair, yet you thought it necessary.
You're just a repetition, a link in the chain I faced my whole life.
I wonder if we can detach and be more than the skeletons our mothers and fathers set us to be. If i wandered over, could I break through, keep a space between my ghost and your shadow?
Whatever you do, law low and keep your ears to the ground when I open up. I am coming soon.

Believe in yourself and believe in the lightning

to make dealing with the dull and discouraging moments of our life it's often necessary to escape to some sort of fantasy. whether that be a complete fabrication or a slight romanticisation of the unique situations in our life depends on the individual. a plane of existence where we call the shots and determine the unique paths we travel in. interpret that as you will.

"believe in yourself and believe in the lightning" was something i said once half-jokingly...and it sort of represents the kind of beauty i see in everyday situations. we have so much untapped potential as stationery, socially adherent human animals. the lightning is that spark inside everyone which carries our true purpose, our "destiny" if you will, and the electricity to carve out our futures varies from person to person.

for many years i was very skeptical about how i felt in terms of my belief system. it's so comforting to believe that there's an omnipresent being guiding our paths and making sure we're doing ok. i often feel like there's some sort of divine energy or energy system leading through all of us and making us who we are. i guess that's my way of coping with the inherent evil and destructive nature of the world and universe. however, i think it's much more romantic to think of the world and everyone on it being spontaneously created for no reason. no god. no mary. no joseph. you know why? this knowledge gives us the power to shape our own destinies and make whatever we want of ourselves, because what could truly matter? nothing is holding you back.

lightning is powerful and beautiful. it's such a teenage thing to believe we're unlimited in our capabilities and decisions. truly, so little people have a strong belief that they have power over their lives. i become more and more attuned to this realisation everyday. it happens everytime i take a step without guidance and i get better with practice.

The symbolism of lightning to me is powerful, beautiful and appeals to me for some unspoken reason. It does bring to mind the majesty of nature, glam rock and david bowie (and thus freedom of self expression), and finally, my childhood: this could probably be to the books i read when i was younger like harry potter. It's dynamic and inspiring.

so, the words put together make the most sense to me. believe in the unique energy you hold over your own life. believe that you have incredible power to change into whatever you want and move in whatever way you feel is natural to you. show the world what you're made of.

-jxxx

tale of the strong female characters

One of my favourite internet web artists (if you could even call her that) is kate beaton. her witty, sometimes charming, always referential comic strips touch upon characters in history, feminism and literature to name a few. contrary to popular belief, women ARE funny and so many female comic strip writers prove this to me constantly. this was a short story i wrote inspired by a series of comics she wrote entitled "strong female characters." i found that they so effectively poked fun at how horribly and inaccurately women were portrayed in comics. female heroins are so often depicted as overly sexualised just to show how empowered they are, which i think is slowly, slowly changing. this was eventually put into a zine i was a part of called "heroes" and will probably be put into the 2nd issue of vaein.

(all images copyright to kate beaton.)

It was a quiet, blue and dewy morning in the city of Goth-hams - yes! quite the name for a town so often overrun by villains and crime. Some say it was more of a nickname, spread amongst the citizens as a joke, referring to the town's high population of brooding teenagers and delicatessens that offered fine meats. Some say it was an inside joke referring to a city overcome with REAL crime...but noone ever listened to such derogatory claptrap in Goth-hams.

A single bird adjusted itself fussily in it's nest and twittered softly above the town hall, which by the way, had been built, with some sort of generic roman architectural idea in mind. It was a bit of an eyesore in the opinion of many citizens, and looked rather out of place in comparison to the dingy, commercial looking shopping mall across the road. The steps were plastered with pigeon excrement, litter and a few spots of graffiti, which unfortunately was one of the few colourful things about this building. The lawn out in front of the town hall was cultivated in a spherical shape, with a fountain placed crudely in the middle: not much care had been taken in placing this addition, as it intruded slightly upon the greenery surrounding it and it functioned more as a child's swimming pool. It babbled lazily amidst the morning air as if to say "well, i tried." Yes. "Goth-hams" was not just a city of fashionable mall-goths, but also a city of disappointments  Somewhat.

But maybe this was not such an accurate conclusion to draw, for just following this description an alarm sounds somewhere, breaking through the pleasant bird song- the town hall was being invaded! A few people who had been awake at this hour poured into the streets, looking around frantically for the noise. There was a collective pause as all eyes were on the town hall, waiting for action: quite suddenly, it was obvious who had caused the commotion.

Danger dave!

oh yes, you may cringe at the name, but his name WAS dave, and he was POSSIBLY  dangerous. The unmistakeable sound of misdeeds cracked through the air like a bolt of lightning as the doors to the hall slammed open to reveal a rotund and strangely dressed man standing in the entrance. he wasted no time dilly-dallying and leapt neatly down the steps, landing with a soft thud, his knees braced for impact. He looked around triumphantly, saw that noone was around to apprehend him, and gave a sinister laugh. Danger Dave ran off faster than you can say "cardiac arrest" with an unidentified bag under his arms.

This would all be very well and good for danger dave, had he had forgotten about a series of dashing heroes...a series of heroes with unnatural flexibility and a tendency to wear provocative and revealing clothing...

The STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS!

with one efficient *thwack* jenni, the first of the group, apprehended the thief. He fell to the ground somewhat lamely, a dull "oof" emerging from his mouth and nothing more. he rolled around on the ground a bit while Jennie stood over him, striking a pose of victory. "You will never win against us!" she yelled, her voice booming across the courtyard. onlookers were very impressed and began clapping.

"Indeed! and we shall be returning these items at once! Said Harley, the 2nd hero, her cone bra wobbling precariously as she approached the two. Her muscular, strong legs stood out rather obviously amongst the more conservatively clothed civilians. "Don't you know that we are strong female characters, and can do whatever we please to win justice?" She began to massage her cone brace suggestively, the shape starting large when attached to the body, and trailing off to a small insignificant point: a poignant reminder of madonna's career.

A jeering laugh was heard behind them and the three turned around dramatically to face Adelle, who was casually holding her leg above her head and forming a silhouette against the rising sun. "Oh, my apologies! I was just showing off my incredible flexibility and proving how sexually liberated I was!" She lowered her leg with a chuckle and adjusted her leather g-string. "However, i ultimately would like to settle down with a weak male lead- i mean, someone nice." she added, answering a question that absolutely noone asked.

I think we've done all we can for today, girls." Said Jenni, who had now taken to using danger Dave's face as a chair. The villain could be heard trying to say something in protest but jenni thwacked him once again with her cone bra (which had been recently fitted with extendable options.) Adelle fingered her leather gun-holder and inhaled a drag from a cigarette, which had been hastily offered to her by a passer-by.

I do agree, Jenni" said Adelle, nodding. "We have better things to do, like shopping at outrageously overpriced chain stores and then destroying any man that holds a door open for us." She suddenly turned and glared a man ogling her backside, who ran off with a squeal into the distance.

At this point Dave's small face was blue due to the lack of oxygen and his eyeballs looked like they were about to pop out (in addition to his general discomfort in being forced to lay down on weathered pavement.) Harley ignored this and fired her pistol, which she had many of, mind you, into the air in order to assert her dominance.

Off in the distance, Harley noticed a man start a conversation with an unsuspecting girl on the street. A harmless exchange perhaps, but was it really...an unspeakable crime...an incident of STREET HARASSMENT?! She slowly brought her sunglasses out of her leather gun-holder and carefully positioned them on her face, making a grimace.

"he is DEAD. it's time for retribution girls."

the other two nodded sagely, and as they leapt off into the distance, time slowed down and the camera panned to catch a good, wide-angled shot of their posteriors.

They were women, god-dammit, and they had rights!

These were the STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS!! Stay tuned for the next installation!

a very happy and belated halloween to ALL OF you

HALLOWEEN!!! it kinda bums me out that i haven't made a halloween post, and that this one is so late because i've been so excited to write and post about it for so long. there are many interesting posts that could be shared. so i guess i'll just talk about my personal history with the holiday.

my first proper halloween would have to be last year. why so late? for those reading from australia (which would obviously be most of you) you'd understand that probably 5% of families properly celebrate halloween, and many people just use it as an excuse to party or, as mean girls so famously said "dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

my family fit into the "it's american so we don't do it" category.

last year i went trick or treating with chris, debbie and joe around joe's neighbourhood, and as i recall, we did it kinda late so our luck of getting anything was pretty low. i believe only a few houses gave us candy. i dressed up as fever ray, debbie dressed up as dark magician girl and chris was a ghost. if i recall correctly.

in my opinion, this has always been kind of a silly excuse and a bit of crowd-following mixed with tired australian pride. especially considering a lot of my mother's disgust towards the holiday was non-existent until ENGLISH children moved in to the house across the road from us and came trick or treating one day, to which my mum pursed her lips, smiled once with an effort that looked like it cost her a lot of pain, and offered up the last remnants of her secret cadbury chocolate stockpile.

this year i took it upon my self to think long and hard about what i wanted to do for halloween long before decorations were up for sale. for a long time friends, strangers and anonymous askers on various social media sites (formspring, and then later on tumblr) would send me things saying,

"have you ever been told you look like brendon urie???????"

honestly, while i was a big panic! fan when i was a younger teen, i never really saw any comparison or similarity- probably because i had longer hair during my teenage years. this year I decided to make a tongue in cheek reference to that while acknowledging one of the more poppier bands i used to listen to on a daily basis.

not only did i go to a halloween party at Alicia's house, which was lovely and warm and small and full of good vibes, but I also went to a games night with my friends millie, rach and bri, where we played pictionary and talked about people for what felt like hours.

usually my hair is a similar brown to brendon's, but as blue is my go-to hair colour as of late (and it'll probably remain that way for a while) i covered up as much as I could with this hat, which I got from a costume store off of hindley street. the gloves were from the same store. someone suggested i wear them outside of my outfit as well, which i will definitely take into account.

most of the pieces of clothing were things i already owned and organised (the jacket is from marc by marc, the bowtie was my dad's old one, the skull is from charlavail, the waistcoat is vintage, as is the shirt) which made this an easy and fun costume to assemble.

my 2nd attempt at using disposable cameras was much better than my first. i decided that it was essential to document our games night in one full camera (it contains about 27 shots, and i got it from the reject shop in town for $5)

(we won pictionary)

-jonnoxxx