churches

was thinking about the unique situations of where i was born and raised today. so often i have taken for granted that i reside in a somewhat sleepy capital city called adelaide. i was born in 1992 in ashford hospital. both of my parents were in the room, as well as my grandmother, which she says was one of the most incredible moments of her life and perhaps why we remain so close today. it was around 1:30 in the morning. i grew up to be quiet a docile and quiet child. i was always asking my mother what certain words meant or what phrases meant and that this was one of the few attempts at conversation i would make in between constantly reading (or as my mother would say, devouring) books far beyond my age limit. i have memories of weaving in and out of people on rundle street or on the norwood parade while i clung tightly to my the hand of either my mother or father, feeling enraptured in the feeling of where i was, being jostled continually by a sea of people: and often, this was made all the more hard by the book i would have been reading at the same time. it was impossible for me to stop building my fantasies, and it was even harder for my parents to refuse my invitations into every bookstore i see. the angus and robertson near the crossing in the norwood parade has been visited so many times by me that it is quintessentially one of the things that i remember most about this town. so in this way, adelaide has quite a unique feeling and meaning for me, always the backdrop for some creation inside my head, always appearing over the top of some pages, a glint out of the corner of my eye.

the situations of some people are so helpless and filled with hardships and in comparison adelaide is unspeakably beautiful, like a friend who is always in the corner and will help you out when you're in need. never obnoxious, but exciting in their own understated way. we are not decimated by war or overtly affected by poverty and death. it's so easy to make a mark in adelaide but still the right size to hide when you feel like you want noone to see you. i'm grateful that if i want to achieve something i have just the right amount of people for it to have an effect and for the rest of the world to hear it, while still having the freedom for it to be a practice pad for something else if i decide to reach higher.

when you know the right people a place can be filled with a completely different light: where once before it was tired and uninteresting, it becomes even more like a home, with hidden places opening up like you have a secret passcode, a 2nd home unravelling itself slowly and beautifully. it's like knowing the cheat codes to your favourite video games, like knowing exactly when to jump on that super mario level, and finding the hidden pipe that takes you to the 8th level. with my mind i can paint the city with new shades of gold, and drape the grey with strokes of aquamarine. your location does not define you but the attitude and the things that you make of it does.

from the highest building in the epicentre of the city the roman structures below seem to glow with a light befitting of a city three times it's size. in certain places i'll turn unknowingly down streets and feel like i've captured a little pocket of new york...at least until i reach the big apple myself, for whatever reason.

so much hatred has been aimed at me from the ants in this city, but the butterflies are the ones who matter, and the power of a butterflies wings can cause a cyclone.

a very happy and belated halloween to ALL OF you

HALLOWEEN!!! it kinda bums me out that i haven't made a halloween post, and that this one is so late because i've been so excited to write and post about it for so long. there are many interesting posts that could be shared. so i guess i'll just talk about my personal history with the holiday.

my first proper halloween would have to be last year. why so late? for those reading from australia (which would obviously be most of you) you'd understand that probably 5% of families properly celebrate halloween, and many people just use it as an excuse to party or, as mean girls so famously said "dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

my family fit into the "it's american so we don't do it" category.

last year i went trick or treating with chris, debbie and joe around joe's neighbourhood, and as i recall, we did it kinda late so our luck of getting anything was pretty low. i believe only a few houses gave us candy. i dressed up as fever ray, debbie dressed up as dark magician girl and chris was a ghost. if i recall correctly.

in my opinion, this has always been kind of a silly excuse and a bit of crowd-following mixed with tired australian pride. especially considering a lot of my mother's disgust towards the holiday was non-existent until ENGLISH children moved in to the house across the road from us and came trick or treating one day, to which my mum pursed her lips, smiled once with an effort that looked like it cost her a lot of pain, and offered up the last remnants of her secret cadbury chocolate stockpile.

this year i took it upon my self to think long and hard about what i wanted to do for halloween long before decorations were up for sale. for a long time friends, strangers and anonymous askers on various social media sites (formspring, and then later on tumblr) would send me things saying,

"have you ever been told you look like brendon urie???????"

honestly, while i was a big panic! fan when i was a younger teen, i never really saw any comparison or similarity- probably because i had longer hair during my teenage years. this year I decided to make a tongue in cheek reference to that while acknowledging one of the more poppier bands i used to listen to on a daily basis.

not only did i go to a halloween party at Alicia's house, which was lovely and warm and small and full of good vibes, but I also went to a games night with my friends millie, rach and bri, where we played pictionary and talked about people for what felt like hours.

usually my hair is a similar brown to brendon's, but as blue is my go-to hair colour as of late (and it'll probably remain that way for a while) i covered up as much as I could with this hat, which I got from a costume store off of hindley street. the gloves were from the same store. someone suggested i wear them outside of my outfit as well, which i will definitely take into account.

most of the pieces of clothing were things i already owned and organised (the jacket is from marc by marc, the bowtie was my dad's old one, the skull is from charlavail, the waistcoat is vintage, as is the shirt) which made this an easy and fun costume to assemble.

my 2nd attempt at using disposable cameras was much better than my first. i decided that it was essential to document our games night in one full camera (it contains about 27 shots, and i got it from the reject shop in town for $5)

(we won pictionary)

-jonnoxxx

Freezing above the stratosphere

i forgot to post about an impromptu photo taking session that jade and I did, and i had some photos developed, and i wrote a few things, and so instead of doing different posts i think i'll put it all together.

sneaking into abandoned, disused or secret places has actually become a past-time of jade and me. a little while ago we got into electra house and took some photos.

(with millie)

(in these photos i am wearing cheap monday jeans, synethetic leather tuk creepers, zuboutique shirt and american apparel suspenders. i achieved the eyebrows with a combination of blue eyeshadow and lipstick.)

it was very dark, and ominous sounds echoed from the basement. it sounded like a pipe had broken and had somewhat flooded certain areas, where crates and boards of wood had been placed to ensure safe footing. for who? i have no idea. i imagine it'd be for construction workers of some kind but it's more romantic (or mysterious?) to pretend it was for some other reason.

these photos were taken in very disparate situations, but the bottom two were at the art exhibition of my friend kat botten, and the first is of my friend cordelia. these were the few that turned out well. i'm still getting used to disposable film! it's fun but that's all i think of it as really. if i ever call myself a photographer you have permission to shoot me.

uni is all finished for the year which means i have enough time to do crafts, work on vaein zine, spend time with my grandparents and friends, go on adventures with people, take photos, go to art exhibitions and shows, and spend my nights mindlessly dancing away to horrible techno.

and theeeen this recent photo taking thing was on top of the unisa building. getting in there originall with jon and daniel was pretty easy when we followed a student inside. the 2nd time, when it was just Jade and I, was not as accessible. nonetheless, we found a way, and it was magnificent. i dressed up as my celestial ocean form.

(shirt is from st. vinnies vintage store, AA suspenders (again), handmade seashell button cover, accessories from ebay, nailpolish from the nicki minaj OPI collection, haus of howe pants, and vegetarian shoes creepers.)

my grandmother and i have recently taken to customising and making quite a lot of things to make myself happy. in the future i think it'd be really cool to have some sort of clothing line, because i'm always buzzing with ideas, so i think this is a good start.

i also celebrated my 8th year friendversary with my bff debbie...

...who got her hair cut like this!

this was needed after my big spiel of poems, writing pieces and ramblings. there should be more to add here but i can't be bothered. ok, bye!

-jonnoxxx

I need mouth to mouth

"They were right when they said we were breathing underwater. Out of place all the time in a world that wasn't mine to take."- Metric

Why can't I be you?

some of my favourite people are artists. by this you can take it i'm referring to visual artists, people who can seperate themselves from reality for a short spell and create something so effortlessly... but leave countless other people marvelling at what they've created, looking for some kind of hidden meaning in the piece.

i have much, much respect for musicians, writers, and other artists but there's something about true "artists" that make me want to kiss them (ha ha ha). i think part of it is the fact that i'm completely useless when it comes to drawing, or painting, or anything like that - recently i've been trying to become an artist in my own right by sketching and brainstorming but most of the stuff i come up with is heavily text-based or centred on ideas. it doesn't necessarily require any technical skill, it's just a way for  me to express myself and get an idea across in a way that is less two dimensional than simply writing it. my admiration for people who can draw or paint probably comes from my inability to do the same.

anyway, my point is that i love to make friends with artists and find them endlessly fascinating, and as such some of my artists friends decide to draw me! i think being captured even in just a sketch is the most flattering thing, and i probably could never tire of it. i also have a lot of followers on tumblr who are artists, so between my friends + followers, a few of them have created some interesting images. some of them are fun, some of them are extremely realistic, and all of them carry the stamp of the artist that drew them simply in their individual style.

JXR