a very happy and belated halloween to ALL OF you

HALLOWEEN!!! it kinda bums me out that i haven't made a halloween post, and that this one is so late because i've been so excited to write and post about it for so long. there are many interesting posts that could be shared. so i guess i'll just talk about my personal history with the holiday.

my first proper halloween would have to be last year. why so late? for those reading from australia (which would obviously be most of you) you'd understand that probably 5% of families properly celebrate halloween, and many people just use it as an excuse to party or, as mean girls so famously said "dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

my family fit into the "it's american so we don't do it" category.

last year i went trick or treating with chris, debbie and joe around joe's neighbourhood, and as i recall, we did it kinda late so our luck of getting anything was pretty low. i believe only a few houses gave us candy. i dressed up as fever ray, debbie dressed up as dark magician girl and chris was a ghost. if i recall correctly.

in my opinion, this has always been kind of a silly excuse and a bit of crowd-following mixed with tired australian pride. especially considering a lot of my mother's disgust towards the holiday was non-existent until ENGLISH children moved in to the house across the road from us and came trick or treating one day, to which my mum pursed her lips, smiled once with an effort that looked like it cost her a lot of pain, and offered up the last remnants of her secret cadbury chocolate stockpile.

this year i took it upon my self to think long and hard about what i wanted to do for halloween long before decorations were up for sale. for a long time friends, strangers and anonymous askers on various social media sites (formspring, and then later on tumblr) would send me things saying,

"have you ever been told you look like brendon urie???????"

honestly, while i was a big panic! fan when i was a younger teen, i never really saw any comparison or similarity- probably because i had longer hair during my teenage years. this year I decided to make a tongue in cheek reference to that while acknowledging one of the more poppier bands i used to listen to on a daily basis.

not only did i go to a halloween party at Alicia's house, which was lovely and warm and small and full of good vibes, but I also went to a games night with my friends millie, rach and bri, where we played pictionary and talked about people for what felt like hours.

usually my hair is a similar brown to brendon's, but as blue is my go-to hair colour as of late (and it'll probably remain that way for a while) i covered up as much as I could with this hat, which I got from a costume store off of hindley street. the gloves were from the same store. someone suggested i wear them outside of my outfit as well, which i will definitely take into account.

most of the pieces of clothing were things i already owned and organised (the jacket is from marc by marc, the bowtie was my dad's old one, the skull is from charlavail, the waistcoat is vintage, as is the shirt) which made this an easy and fun costume to assemble.

my 2nd attempt at using disposable cameras was much better than my first. i decided that it was essential to document our games night in one full camera (it contains about 27 shots, and i got it from the reject shop in town for $5)

(we won pictionary)

-jonnoxxx

Freezing above the stratosphere

i forgot to post about an impromptu photo taking session that jade and I did, and i had some photos developed, and i wrote a few things, and so instead of doing different posts i think i'll put it all together.

sneaking into abandoned, disused or secret places has actually become a past-time of jade and me. a little while ago we got into electra house and took some photos.

(with millie)

(in these photos i am wearing cheap monday jeans, synethetic leather tuk creepers, zuboutique shirt and american apparel suspenders. i achieved the eyebrows with a combination of blue eyeshadow and lipstick.)

it was very dark, and ominous sounds echoed from the basement. it sounded like a pipe had broken and had somewhat flooded certain areas, where crates and boards of wood had been placed to ensure safe footing. for who? i have no idea. i imagine it'd be for construction workers of some kind but it's more romantic (or mysterious?) to pretend it was for some other reason.

these photos were taken in very disparate situations, but the bottom two were at the art exhibition of my friend kat botten, and the first is of my friend cordelia. these were the few that turned out well. i'm still getting used to disposable film! it's fun but that's all i think of it as really. if i ever call myself a photographer you have permission to shoot me.

uni is all finished for the year which means i have enough time to do crafts, work on vaein zine, spend time with my grandparents and friends, go on adventures with people, take photos, go to art exhibitions and shows, and spend my nights mindlessly dancing away to horrible techno.

and theeeen this recent photo taking thing was on top of the unisa building. getting in there originall with jon and daniel was pretty easy when we followed a student inside. the 2nd time, when it was just Jade and I, was not as accessible. nonetheless, we found a way, and it was magnificent. i dressed up as my celestial ocean form.

(shirt is from st. vinnies vintage store, AA suspenders (again), handmade seashell button cover, accessories from ebay, nailpolish from the nicki minaj OPI collection, haus of howe pants, and vegetarian shoes creepers.)

my grandmother and i have recently taken to customising and making quite a lot of things to make myself happy. in the future i think it'd be really cool to have some sort of clothing line, because i'm always buzzing with ideas, so i think this is a good start.

i also celebrated my 8th year friendversary with my bff debbie...

...who got her hair cut like this!

this was needed after my big spiel of poems, writing pieces and ramblings. there should be more to add here but i can't be bothered. ok, bye!

-jonnoxxx

Feeling freezes when i know you want me

zu boutique limited edition shirt, j brand chinos, j brand chinos, vintage military jacket from old midwest in adelaide, thrifted belt, vegetarian doc martens

This week has been one of the heaviest in a long time. Little revelations say a lot and shake your faith in what you think about your life and what you think it's worth. My mood may have showed up in a lot of these photos taken but luckily not all of them are of my face. I also got around to redyeing my hair blue. it's the colour i feel most comfortable with. Hope you enjoy.

-jxr

I need mouth to mouth

"They were right when they said we were breathing underwater. Out of place all the time in a world that wasn't mine to take."- Metric

Put your hands in and swim

For my friend Rachael's photography assignment, she asked me and Gemma (a vaein girl) to model for her in a way that alluded to high fashion - and also took some photos which are here, obviously. I'm being drawn to colours that are water themed, and feel more at home with blue and green. I need to redo my hair because i don't really feel comfortable as a blonde anymore. I jokingly refer to myself as a merperson sometimes and a few of my friends have begun criticising me for it but (as i spoke about briefly before) i think individual style is more exciting when combined with theatre and role-playing. When i'm feeling flat or small i dress really extravagantly and themed so i feel like something non-human. then, in some strange way, i end up feeling more like myself than before. does that make sense? 

who knows.

Ysl shirt, various accessories from ebay, versace for h&m leggings, zuboutique x macbeth shoes, motel faux fur jacket, charlavail skull, sunglasses from asos and OPI x nicki minaj nailpolish.

It's true that cutting yourself open seems like such a risk that you might as well start preparing the bodybag, but it's the only way to grow up and move on. I'll power through everything as if i was a merman, with a strong body to get through the current, and a love for the depths where the light can't reach. When it hits the ocean spits and the air opens up like a newborn.

Sometimes when you tell yourself something repeatedly, you begin to believe a little bit of it.